My Burning Heart
by Soara22
Summary: My life. One that is very hard to live. My love. A person that I like, but hate.
1. The Academy

"Are you sure you want to do this, Clarissa?" asked Suzaku.

"I'm sure," I said "you asked me that like 8 million times. I want to do this."

"Alright," he said. Suzaku has been taken care of me ever since my parents died. He's my cousin. Although, my family was royalty. My father was a lord and my mother was the step sister of Suzaku's father. So, I'm not technically Japanese. The bell rang and we hurried to class. I heard a lot of people whispering.

"Everyone," Suzaku said "this is my cousin, Clarissa. She'll be going to school here now."

"Um, hi everyone," I said. We both sat down. Suddenly, some of Suzaku's friends came.

"So your the cousin Suzaku's been talking about," Rivalz said.

"Yeah," I said "you must be Rivalz. Suzaku told me a lot of things about you."

"Well, that's not suprising," said Milly "I'm Milly Ashford. President of the Student Council."

"And I'm Shirley," she said "and this is Nina." She pointed at Nina.

"Nice to meet you," I said.

"Well," Milly said "since you're new here, I should tell you that all students must participate in at least one school club. So would you like to join Student Council?"

"Um, ok," I said.

"Perfect!" yelled Shirley "we meet every day after class.

"Ok," I said. Then, a guy came in.

"Hey, guys," he said "sorry I'm late." I turned around to see who he was. I froze and stood up.

"Lelouch," I said. He froze.

"Clarissa," he said. The bell rang and I ran out of class.

"Clarissa!" yelled Suzaku. I continued to run. I ran to a room with a piano in it.

"Lelouch is..." I started crying. I went to the piano. I remembered the song that my mom and dad use to sing to me and I started to play it.

The Gift: Jim Brickman

Clarissa:  
Winter snow is falling down  
Children laughing all around  
Lights are turning on  
Like a fairy tale come true  
Sitting by the fire we made  
You're the answer when I pray  
I will find someone  
And baby I found you

Chorus:  
All I want is to hold you forever  
All I need is you more everyday  
You saved my heart  
From being broken apart  
You gave your love away  
And I'm thankful everyday  
For the gift

I was to upset to continue...


	2. The Secret

I didn't go to the Student Council meeting today. I was too scared. I haven't Lelouch in 7 years. He was my best friend. I loved him. Until he abandoned me. I still do love him. I lived with Suzaku for only 5 years. I serve in the military with him. I work with Leona. She's similar to Lancelot, but faster and more advanced. I lived on the streets for 2 years. Getting food out of the garbage, sheltering in a box, I stole cloths from shops. Although, I have a friend with me. Her name is May. She is not like a regular person. Her friend abandoned her. C.C. Her friend. She is just like her. May gave me geass. I must fulfill her wish in exchange. She also shows me images of where people are. She knows almost everything. She knows that C.C is with Lelouch and she knows that Lelouch has Geass.

"May," I asked "can you please show me Lelouch?"

"Of course," she said. She showed me Lelouch, talking to Shirley.

"What is she doing?" I asked.

"She's asking him on a date," she answered. I froze.

"I see," I said "she must love him. I can never love him now. I don't want to interfere on the one he loves." Night came quickly. It was raining. I wanted to check on Lelouch one more time. Suzaku was with me. He already knew about May and my geass.

"Please show me Lelouch, May," I said. She showed me Lelouch and Shirley. However...

"They're..." I started to cry "kissing. It's true."

"Don't cry, Clarissa," he said. He hugged me. He stayed with me until I fell asleep. I wasn't really asleep. I took out my locket. It was a heart locket. Inside, a picture. Lelouch...


	3. Remembering the Past

I was terrified to go to school today. Suzaku convinced me to go. Luckily, Lelouch was sleeping in class, so he didn't notice me. Until the bell rang. His eyes went wide open. He saw me walk out. I sat under a cherry blossom tree with Suzaku. He had to leave for the military, though. Lelouch came over.

"Hey," he said in a soft voice. I stood up and started to slowly walk away. Although, he grabbed my hand.

"Wait, I need to talk to you," he said. I faced him. It's been 7 years since I've faced him.

"There's nothing else to say, Lelouch," I said "just go and leave. Like you did 7 years ago."

"That's not what happened and you know that!" he yelled.

"Yes, I do know that!" I yelled.

"Then why are you mad?" he said in a softer voice.

"Because," I said "I also remember what you said to me the day you left." Lelouch has a flashback.

(7 Years Ago)

It was raining that day. He took Nunnally and left his home. Lelouch had Nunnally on his back. She was asleep. They were on the path that left the palace.

"Lelouch!" I yelled while running to him "wait!" Luckily, I got to him.

"Clarissa," he said.

"Don't leave," I started crying "I'll be all alone without you." He put a hand on one of my cheeks. He took a small box out of his pocket and handed it to me.

"I'm sorry," he said "we can never be together." He walked away, leaving me all alone.

"Now do you remember?" I asked.

"I didn't mean it!" he yelled "I was upset!" I started to cry.

"I saw it in your eyes, Lelouch," I said "you meant every word." I ran away.


	4. That Night

"How was school today?" May asked. I dropped my backpack and fell on my bed.

"Ok," I said.

"I see," she said "what was Lelouch talking to you about?" I knew it. She saw me talking to Lelouch.

"Nothing," I said. She sat on my bed.

"Tell me," she said "I know you're lying." I sighed.

"He wanted to apologize," I replied.

"Did you let him?" she said.

"No," I said "I would never forgive him."

"You liar," she said. We both laughed.

"Whatever," she said "man, I hate these uniforms." I went to my wardrobe and got my favorite outfit. (A black shirt with one white stripe, a half jacket the ones that goes to my waist, denim jeans with holes on the knees, and a white hat)

As I was about to take off my shirt, Suzaku came in.

"What the?!" he said.

"SUZAKU!!" I yelled "get the hell out!!" May shoved him out.

"Sorry!" he said "we gotta hurry. We gotta get to the stadium in 10 minutes!!"

"Ok, ok," I said "I'm almost done." I'm in a band called 18th Grace. I'm the lead singer and electric guitar, my friend Max (guy) is bass, Bella's the piano/ mixers, and Zac's the drums. Suzaku's our manager. All of our friends from school are going. Even though I told Suzaku not to, he also invited Lelouch. Suzaku and I quickly got into the car, got the others, and headed off to the concert.

(At the Concert)

We sold every seat in the stadium!! Suzaku and the rest of us were back stage.

"Good luck," he said. We hugged.

"Thanks," I replied. We heard the announcer (a.k.a Rivalz)

"Ladies and Dudes of Ashford Academy!" he yelled "Plz welcome one of the greatest bands in the world, 18th Grace!!" Everyone started yelling. The band ran out to the stage. The Student Council was in the front row, even Lelouch.

"Hey, guys," I said "to start off the night we wanna sing a song from a legendary band, Paramore." They all screamed. (Paramore was our idols. They are awesome!!"

CrushCrushCrush-Paramore

I got a lot to say to you  
Yeah, I got a lot to say  
I noticed your eyes are always glued to me  
Keeping them here  
And it makes no sense at all

They taped over your mouth  
Scribbled out the truth with their lies  
You little spies  
They taped over your mouth  
Scribbled out the truth with their lies  
You little spies

Crush  
Crush  
Crush  
Crush, crush  
(Two, three, four!)

Nothing compares to a quiet evening alone  
Just the one-two of us, who's counting on  
That never happens  
I guess I'm dreaming again  
Let's be more than this

If you want to play it like a game  
Well, come on, come on, let's play  
Cause I'd rather waste my life pretending  
Than have to forget you for one whole minute

They taped over your mouth  
Scribbled out the truth with their lies  
You little spies  
They taped over your mouth  
Scribbled out the truth with their lies  
You little spies

Crush  
Crush  
Crush  
Crush, crush  
(Two, three, four!)

Nothing compares to a quiet evening alone  
Just the one-two of us, who's counting on  
That never happens  
I guess I'm dreaming again  
Let's be more than this now

Rock and roll, baby  
Don't you know that we're all alone now?  
I need something to sing about  
Rock and roll, hey  
Don't you know, baby, we're all alone now?  
I need something to sing about  
Rock and roll, hey  
Don't you know, baby, we're all alone now?  
Give me something to sing about

Nothing compares to a quiet evening alone  
Just the one-two of us, who's counting on  
That never happens  
I guess I'm dreaming again  
Let's be more than  
No, oh

Nothing compares to a quiet evening alone  
Just the one-two of us, who's counting on  
That never happens  
I guess I'm dreaming again  
Let's be more than  
More than this  
Ohoh ohoh ohoh  
Oooh...

Everyone shouted.

"Thank you!!" I said. "Now it's time for our #1 hit, Get Up!!" Everyone shouted.

Get Up

Verse 1:

You never get to do anything cool in your life.

You gotta get back up, but if you do you better do a thing right.

You made a mistake and now you don't know what to do.

If you don't have a clue, here's a tip or two.

Chorus:

Get back up and go play.

It's the best thing to do on a boring day.

Get back up and go play.

You need to play every single day hey yeah.

Oh yeah yeah.

Verse:

Just remember you only have one life to do anything.

So you better start trying to get back up and try something new.

You hurt yourself once and didn't know what to do.

Just do what you do and get a tip or two.

Chorus:

Get back up and go play.

It's the best thing to do on a boring day.

Get back up and go play.

You need to play every single day hey yeah.

Oh yeah yeah.

Verse 3:

So get back up and make the rest of your life.

Show the world what you do best.

So go and show the world what you can do.

If they don't know what to do, give them a tip or two.

Chorus:

Get back up and go play.

It's the best thing to do on a boring day.

Get back up and go play.

You need to play every single day hey yeah.

Day yay yay!

Day yay yay!

GET UP!!

Everyone shouted. As we finished up the concert, the Student Council came backstage.

"You guys were great!" yelled Shirley.

"Thanks," said Max.

"I'm exhausted!!" I said "I'll be right back." I walked away. I picked up my electric and headed to my music chamber. It's just a room in the stadium with a piano, couches, and a flat screen. The band and I like to hang out here. I went to the piano and played the lullaby again. Suddenly, Lelouch came in.

"What do you want Lelouch?" I asked in an angry way.

"Look," he said "I know you're mad at me and I know you won't forgive me." He grabbed my shoulder. I didn't take his hand off. I just focused on playing the lullaby.

"You still remember the song?" he said.

"How can I forget, my parents sang that to me every night," I said.

"But do you remembered what that song did?" he asked.

(Flashback: 7 Years Ago)

Lelouch and I were walking in a garden. Talking about stuff. We sat down near a fountain.

"Clarissa," he said "I have something to give you."

"What is it, Lelou?" I asked.

"Close your eyes," he said. I closed them. He put a box on my hand. I opened my eyes. I opened it. It was a heart shaped locket. The box played the lullaby.

"Lelouch," I said "it's beautiful."

"There's more," he said. I closed my eyes again. Suddenly, I felt his lips touch mine. My eyes went wide open. Then, I closed them again.

"Of course I remember," I said "I never forgot."

"I see you're still wearing it," he said. He kneeled down as I turned around on the chair.

"What do you want from me Lelouch?" I started to cry a bit. He wiped my tears away with his hands. He kept them on my cheeks. Then, his soft lips touched mine. My eyes wide open. I haven't kissed him in 7 years. I parted from him.

"Lelouch," I said "I can't. You already love someone. I can't come between you and Shirley."

"Clarissa," he said "I don't love her. I love you. I've loved you ever since our first kiss.Shirley's just my friend."

"But," I said. He put his finger on my lips. He kissed me again. This time, I fell for it. My hands grabbed his hair. His grabbed my waist.

Shirley was by the door. She heard everything. She saw everything.


	5. The Truth

Shirley walked away. Confused and sad. She couldn't believe that Lelouch doesn't love her. She thought he loved her after they kissed. She thought wrong. Lelouch and I were still in the music chamber. We were still, well, you know. Then, we broke apart. We were kissing for like 3 minutes and we needed air. Like Shirley, I was confused.

"Lelouch," I said.

"Yeah."

"What you said to me, before we kissed," I replied "I thought you love her. I mean you guys…" I stopped.

"We what?" he said. I gotta tell him.

"Lelouch," I said with a frown on my face "a day after you and Nunnally left, my parents were killed."

"Yeah," he said "Suzaku told me."

"Well," I explained "I was forced to live on the streets. Your… the Holy Emperor kicked me out. I've been on the streets for 2 years."

"Clarissa," he said.

"When I was," I said "I met a girl. Her name was May. She wasn't like other girls."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Lelouch, don't be mad at me, but I know about C.C and geass," I said. He looked down.

"I also know about… zero and the black nights."

"I see," he said. Suddenly, he tried to use geass on me.

"Then you will forget about all of that," he said. Since I have geass, it won't work on me.

"I'm sorry, Lelouch," I said "geass won't work on me. I have it, too. May is like C.C. She gave me geass. She can also show me where people are. They were best friends."

"But," he said "don't you work for the military?"

"Don't worry, Lelouch," I said "I won't tell anyone, even Suzaku."

"Thanks," he hugged me.

"Just promise me this, Lelouch," I said.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"No matter what you do with the black knights," I said "please don't hurt Suzaku. He's all I have left." We look at each other.

"I promise," he said. Then, we both kissed, again!!


	6. Wow!

The next day was, well, bizarre. Shirley didn't remember Lelouch. It was pretty weird.

"Can you remember anything at all?" I asked her.

"I swear," she said "I've never met him!" The bell rang and I drove to the stadium. Lelouch and I were meeting in the music chamber.

"How come Shirley doesn't remember you?" I asked.

"She found out I was Zero and nearly shot me, so I had to use geass on her" he explained.

"Oh," I said. We were sitting on the couch. I was sitting up while Lelouch was lying down. His head was on my lap.

"How's Suzaku?" he asked "I haven't seen him in a while."

"He's ok. He's been busy with the military, though," I said "Lelouch."

"Hm?" he said.

"How's Nunnally? Is she doing ok?" I asked.

"She's fine," he said "I bet she'd be very happy if you would visit her."

"Ok," I said "I'd love to have dinner with you and Nunnally tonight."

"Actually," he said "I was thinking you could stay the night. Nunnally would love that."

"Sure, why not?" I said.

"Ok," he said "it'll be a surprise then." Suddenly, his hands were on my waist and he started to tickle me.

"Lol! Stop it! That tickles!" I yelled.

"That's the point," he smiled. I struggled to get free. I grabbed my water bottle and poured some water on him. He let go.

"Hey," he said. I quickly got up.

"Serves you right, Lelou," I said. He got up.

"Get over here," he said.

"Gotta catch me first," I said. I started running while he was chasing me. I ran to the stadium's "backyard", (it's just the back of the stadium with grass and a lake).

"Gotcha!" he said. He grabbed me by my waist and we fell to the ground laughing. His hands were still on my waist when we fell. We stopped laughing when we fell. I turned around to look at his eyes. We both sat up and faced the lake.

"Nice view," he said.

"Yeah," I replied. I put my head on his shoulder. Then, he faced me and kissed me passionately. He grabbed my cheeks while I grabbed his chest.

_He's got tight abs! _

While still kissing, my back went to the ground. Lelouch on top of me. It was incredible!!


	7. Night at His House

Night came quickly. I told Suzaku that I was staying at Lelouch's house for the night. He told me to be careful and he also helped me pack my stuff.

_I just love Suzaku!!_

I took the car and drove to their house. It was quite large. Lelouch was waiting for me out side. I got out of my car. Lelouch kissed me hello () and we went inside. He told me to wait in the hallway so we could surprise Nunnally.

_I can't wait to see her. I've missed her so much!!_

Lelouch took Nunnally to the dining area.

"Nunnally," he said "I've got a surprise for you."

"Really? What could it be?" Lelouch whistled. I came in. I kneeled down to Nunnally and smiled. Then, I sang the chorus of the lullaby. Her mouth dropped a bit.

"That song, that voice," she started to cry a bit "thank god you're alive. I'd thought I'd never see you again."

"Nunnally," I said softly "I've missed you so much." I hugged her. We sat down and ate dinner.

"So I hear that you work for the military, too? Do you work with Suzaku?" asked Nunnally.

"Yeah," I said "don't you worry. We're not doing anything dangerous."

"That's a relief," Lelouch said. When we were done, I got my luggage out of the car and went to their guest room. The room had a window, a queen bed, a desk with computer, and a TV.

"I hope this is enough," said Lelouch.

"It's nice," I said "thanks for letting me stay here, Lelouch."

"Your welcome. Well, we should be getting some sleep. Goodnight." He kissed my head.

"Goodnight," I said. I quickly got dressed and went to bed.

(Lelouch's Point of View)

I went back to my room. I was exhausted.

"That girl," C.C said "she knows May."

"Yeah," Lelouch said "she said you and May were best friends."

"We were, until I left her." She went to sleep. I got into my pj's and went to go check on Clarissa. I entered her room. She was shaking a bit.

"Clarissa?" he said. She was mumbling in her sleep.

"Mother, father, don't die," she mumbled "Lelouch….Lelouch…" I sat next to her on her bed. I held her a bit. She was still shaking.

"Lelouch… don't…. leave!" She woke up. She was sweating. She saw me next to her.

"Are you ok?" I asked. Then, she started to cry a bit. I held her tight. I sang the male part of the lullaby.

Lelouch:

Watching as you softly sleep  
What I'd give if I could keep  
Just this moment  
if only time stood still.

But the colors fade away  
And the years will make us grey  
But baby in my eyes  
You'll still be beautiful.

Suddenly, I fell asleep with Clarissa in my arms.


	8. Bizzare Mourning

I was so embarrassed the next morning. I didn't even remember what happened that night. When I woke up, I was in Lelouch's arms. I was so embarrassed. I quietly got out of his arms, got changed, and went to the kitchen. May was there.

"May," I asked "why are you here?"

"I heard you scream. So I went over here to check on you. When I went to your room, I saw you in Lelouch's arms," she said.

"I see," I said "did you see C.C?"

"Yes," she said "she was asleep."

"Ok," I said "you should get back home. I don't want you to get caught."

"Ok," she said "see you later."

"Tell Suzaku I'll be back before school," I said.

"K," May left. Suddenly, Lelouch came in.

"Good mourning, sunshine," I said. He yawned.

"Good mourning," he said. He went behind me and hugged me.

"Why was I in your arms when I woke up?" I asked. I was so curious.

"I went to go check on you. You were shaking. You weren't cold, you were having a nightmare. You woke up screaming. Then you were crying. So, I just stayed with you for the night," he said.

"Oh," I said.

"Now, don't I get a reward for looking after you?" he asked. He reached in to kiss me, but I put my hand over his mouth.

"Sorry, dude," I said "these lips are still asleep. Maybe after school." We laughed. After we ate breakfast, I packed my stuff and headed back to Suzaku's.

"Thanks for letting me stay here," I said "I really had fun."

"Will you come visit us again?" asked Nunnally.

"Of course," I replied "I can bring Suzaku."

"Ok," Lelouch "I'll see you later." I hugged both of them good bye. Then I drove back to Suzaku.


	9. Suzaku's Secret

A lot of time has past. Well, only a few months pasted. Lelouch and I are going steady and Shirley still doesn't remember him. Or at least I think so. Anyway, Suzaku and I got a call from the military. They said we have to guard Princess Euphemia for that special zone thing she had.

_This oughta be fun….._

When Suzaku and I got there, Euphe told Suzaku to sit next to her. While I had to get in Leona. As I was about to get in, Lelouch came as Zero. Suddenly, I saw him and the Princess go into a room. A few minutes later, the princess came out with a gun. However, her eyes were red.

"Oh no," I said "Lelouch used geass on her." Suddenly, I heard gunfire. The princess shot Darlton. Then, she ordered to kill all the Japanese.

_Oh no, Suzaku is Japanese!! Did Lelouch have something to do with this?!_

"Suzaku!!" I yelled. He looked at the Leona and headed off in the Lancelot.

"Are you alright, Clarissa?" he asked through the microphone.

"Yeah," I said "what is the princess doing?!"

"I don't know," he said "she's not like this."

"Please tell me we don't have to follow the orders!!" I said.

"Don't," he said "we shall not follow these orders!" Suzaku and I controlled our knightmares out of the zone.

_Why did you do this Lelouch?_

Suddenly, we saw the princess with Lelouch. Then, Suzaku yelled. Lelouch killed Euphemia.

"Oh my god," I said. Suzaku flew to her and picked her up. When we got to the base, Suzaku stayed with. I heard him cry from outside of the room. Suddenly, I heard him scream. I went in and saw that Euphemia was dying. Suzaku walked out.

"uh….C…Clarissa," she said in a weak voice "I…m..ust…tell..y..you some…thing."

"Yes, Euphe?" I asked.

"I'm….sorry…..b…but….I'm….t..he..one..who...k..illed….your…..par…ents," her heart stopped.

"You killed my parents!!" I yelled. I was bursting into tears. Euphemia and I grew up together. We were best friends. After Suzaku and I said good bye, we went back to my room.

"May," Suzaku asked "can you give us a minute?"

"Of course," she walked out. We both sat down on my bed.

"Suzaku," I said "when you left, I had a talk with Euphe."

"What did she say?" he asked. I started to cry.

"Suzaku, you might not believe me about this. I understand if you don't," I said.

"Tell me," he said. I looked into his eyes.

"Suzaku," I said "she killed my parents." There was silence.

"But," he said "she would never do anything like that." He called May in.

"May," he said "show us what happened to her parents." She nodded.

(Showing)

My parents were looking at some paintings. Then Euphemia came in.

"Yes, princess?" asked my father. Suddenly, she took out a gun and shot them. She walked over to their dead bodies.

"Lelouch is mine," she said "tell your bitch daughter to stay away from him." She walked away. She hid the gun and went to the emperor.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Clarissa hit me," she said. She showed a fake bruise "banish her!!" The Holy Emperor did as told.

(Now)

"Thank you," he said "please leave." May did.

"Clarissa," he said "I'm sorry." He held me tight. When I finally stopped crying, Suzaku left and May came in.

"May," I asked "show me Lelouch." She did as told. I saw Lelouch and Shirley. Shirley was dying.

"Oh no," I said.

_Pour Shirley._

"You know," said May "I can show you Lelouch's wants and his emotions."

"Um, ok," I said. She showed me Lelouch kissing Kallen. He's enjoying in. Suddenly, Suzaku came in. He saw the image. I put my hand over my mouth. Suzaku came over to me. I didn't cry, but I was mad.

"I knew it," I said "Lelouch only loved me to get someone else's attention. What a basterd!!"

"Clarissa," Suzaku said "I have something to tell you."

"What is it?" I asked. His eyes looked down.

"You're not my cousin," he said.

"I know," I said "we're not blood cousins."

_We're just cousins because my mom is his father's step sister._

"No," he said "not even that." My eyes went wide.

"I lied. I only said that because…" he paused.

"Why? Tell me," I put my hand on his cheek. He grabbed my hand.

"Clarissa, I love you," he said.


	10. My True Soulmate

I froze when Suzaku finished speaking. I couldn't believe what he said.

"But," I said "my parents even said that.." He put his finger on my lips.

"We all told you that because we wanted you to be happy," he said.

"And I was happy," I said.

"Clarissa," Suzaku said "before Lelouch gave you the locket, I over heard him, his father, and Euphie talking. His father said that he and Euphie were having an arranged marriage." My eyes went wide open.

"Then why did he give me this damn locket?" I asked.

"Euphie told him to give it to you," he replied "then, she told him to break your heart." I looked down at the locket. I already took out the picture of Lelouch.

"I didn't want to tell you," he started "and I didn't want you to cry. So I kept we kept it a secret." I started to cry.

"Please don't cry, Clarissa," he said "you're gonna make me cry." He started to.

_I couldn't believe it. All this time, my life has been a lie._

I put my head on Suzaku's chest. His strong hands wrapped protectively around me.

Then, I looked at him.

"Suzaku," I said. Before I could say another word, Suzaku's lips swooped in and touched mine. My eyes went wide open.

_This is wrong, but it feels right. I've been with Suzaku all my life. And now, this is happening. Oh, Suzaku. I never realized that I…._

He broke apart and looked at me. We stared at each other's eyes.

"Clarissa," he said "I'm sorry."

_Suzaku…_

"I'm sorry that about what I just did. I just had to," he explained "I realized now that you are the only one I want."

"I accept your apology," I said "but I need you to take your sorry back." He looked stunned. I quickly pressed my lips against his. I caused him to fall on his back with me on top. We were wrapped in each other.

He broke apart, but only to breathe again. Suddenly, his tongue entered my mouth. We were plying with one another's tongue. However, I didn't want to go a step ahead, since we were only 17.

"Suzaku," I said. He put his finger on my mouth. I suddenly felt his hand behind me head. He gently pushed my head on his chest.

As my head slowly touched his chest, our eyes closed and we fell asleep.

Moments after, may come back in. She saw me on Suzaku's chest. She carefully pulled my covers on us.

"Clarissa," she thought "you finally granted my wish. You have not only found your true soulmate, but you have become my closest friend." May went back to her room and fell asleep.


	11. No!

Chapter 11: No!

The next morning wasn't the best. I woke up in Suzaku's arms. I was still upset about last night.

"Suzaku," I said.

"Hm?" his eyes were still closed.

"I think I'm gonna stay home today," I replied. He woke up and looked at me.

"Are you ok?" he asked. I frowned.

"I guess I'm still upset about last night," I said.

"Do you want me to stay, too?" he asked.

"No," I replied "you go ahead. I don't want you to skip school." He gave me a small smile.

As we got out of each other's arms, Suzaku got his uniform on and headed off to the Academy.

"May," I said "can I ask you a favor?"

"Anything," she said.

"I realized that I don't need my geass anymore," I started.

"You want me to take it back, don't you?" she started to cry "you want me to leave."

"No, that's not it. I want you to take it back, but I want you to stay with me and Suzaku," I said. She stopped crying.

"Thank you," she said. She slowly put her hand on my forehead. Suddenly, she and I started screaming. Luckily, Lloyd and the others weren't there to here it. When it was over, I fell on my bed.

"Is it gone?" I asked weakly.

"I'm sorry, Clarissa," May replied "I wasn't able to take it away." I looked at her.

"Is there something wrong?" I asked.

"Clarissa," she sighed "the only way you can take it away is if you.." She paused.

"If I what?" I asked.

May looked down.

"I'm sorry, I can't tell you. You must figure it out on your own," she said.

"Ok," I said. Suddenly, my phone started to ring. It was Suzaku.

"Hello?" I said.

"Clarissa," he said "meet me in front of the base with Leona."

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

"I'll tell you later," he hung up. I quickly got into my fighting uniform and got in the Leona.

I slowly controlled my Knightmare out of the base. I saw the Lancelot.

"Follow me," said Suzaku. The Lancelot and the Leona took to the skies. As I followed Suzaku, I was thinking about what May said.

Suddenly, we landed on an island. I followed Suzaku into a tunnel. I suddenly saw Kallen and Zero. Suzaku told me to hide. Then, I saw Suzaku shoot Zero's helmet.

_Oh no, this is not gonna be pretty._

Suddenly, Suzaku and Lelouch pointed a gun at each other.

_I have to stop them._

As they started to pull the trigger, everything went in slow motion. My feet started to move. Then, everything went black.


	12. Please Don't Die

Chapter 12: Please Don't Die

As my body fell to the ground, I heard 2 screams. One from Suzaku, the other from Lelouch. I opened my eyes a bit, Suzaku on my left, Lelouch on the other. They were both crying. I was wrapped in Lelouch's arms.

Suddenly, Suzaku grabbed the gun and pointed it at Lelouch's head. I weakly put my hand on his guy and pointed it at me.

"If...you're…go…gonna…sh...oot," I weakly said "don't…shoot…each...ot...her. Let...m...me...t...take…the…s...shot." He dropped the gun.

"Clarissa," Lelouch cried even more "I'm so sorry."

"Why didn't you stay hidden?" Suzaku asked.

"Violence isn't the answer," I said even weaker "I don't want to see someone die."

"Suzaku," Lelouch said "call an ambulance or something. Get help, quickly!"

"But..."

"Dammit, Suzaku! Just do it!" yelled Lelouch. Suzaku went outside. Kallen stayed hidden.

"Clarissa," he said.

"Save it, Lelouch," I said "I know what happened 7 years ago. You and Euphie were gonna have an arranged marriage."

Lelouch looked the other way.

"I guess you heard," he said.

"Why did you give me the locket then?" I asked.

"I denied the arranged marriage. I didn't love her. I love you," he said. Suddenly, Suzaku comes in with May.

"Dammit, Lelouch! What have you done?" May slaps Lelouch. I looked at Lelouch.

"If you do love me, then explain this!" I looked at May. May showed Lelouch kissing Kallen.

"But, that never happened," Lelouch said.

"It's in the future," May said.

"You don't love me," I said "you love Kallen."

"Clarissa," said Suzaku. Lelouch starts to cry even more.

"I understand, Lelouch," I said "just go, go with your black knights." Lelouch puts me in Suzaku's arms and heads off with Kallen.

"Clarissa," Suzaku says "please don't die." I put my hand on Suzaku's cheek. Suddenly, it went black again.

"Clarissa!" yelled Suzaku and May. Suddenly, they heard helicopters. May went outside to go look.

"Suzaku, its Lloyd and the others," she said.

"Go hide, May," Suzaku said "they mustn't see you." She nodded and disappeared in the darkness.

"Suzaku!" yelled "what happened?"

"I'll tell you later," Suzaku said "we must hurry. Clarissa mustn't die!"


	13. The Horrible Question

Chapter 12: The Horrible Question

It was about 3:30 a.m. in the morning. I tried to open my eyes, but I was too tired. So I closed them.

About 2 minutes later, I decided to get over it. I slowly opened my eyes and noticed that I was in the base. Suddenly, I noticed a figure sleeping and snoring on my right. Although, he was holding my hand.

_He always snores so loud…_

"You know you snore really loud," I whispered. Suddenly, the person woke up.

"You're awake!" Suzaku wrapped his arms around my neck.

"Um, Suzaku," I said.

"Hm?" he asked.

"You're choking me," I said. He let go of my neck.

"Sorry," he said. I put my left hand over my head.

"How long was I asleep?" I questioned.

"About 2 days," he said.

_Shit! I've got a lot of homework to do now!_

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"I think you should worry about yourself," he said "you nearly died."

"What about Lelouch?" he frowned.

"He hasn't been in school," he answered "he's been gone for a while."

"Oh," I said.

"You should get some rest. I'll check on you in an hour or two," he said.

"Ok," I said. He gave me a gentle kiss and walked out. However, I didn't close my eyes.

"Alright, May," I said "you can come out now." May carefully crawled out from under my bed.

"Did you get a good 2 day sleep?" she asked. I laughed.

"Did anything happen while I was asleep?" I asked.

"Well," she said "Lelouch lost his memory."

"Really?" I said "that's a relief."

"Actually, he doesn't being Zero and he also forgot about his parents and Nunnally," she explained.

"Oh," I said "what about geass?"

"That, too," she said.

**2 Days Later**

About 2 days past. Lelouch regained his memory, but Nunnally wasn't found.

_Great, I hope he doesn't remember me._

After school, Suzaku and I went to the music chamber to write a new song. Although, he had to leave early. The Emperor needed him for something.

"Ok, let's see," I was sitting by the piano, trying to figure out a song "ok, chorus, um." I played the piano as I sang along.

Author's Note: I really wrote these songs, except for CrushCrushCrush, just to let you guys know. Tell me what you think of them!

Chorus:

This is who I am

And this is who I'll be

No one can stop me from reaching for my dream

They can tease me, hurt me, or call me names

But they can never change who I am

*5 Seconds Later*

Who I am

"That's it!" I wrote the chorus on my sheet music.

"Well, I'll finish this tomorrow," I said.

As I stood up, I figure turned me around.

"Miss me?" he asked.

"I see you got your memory back," I said. He smiled.

"I've come to ask you something," Lelouch said.

"Do you possibly believe that I'm going to forgive you for what's going to happen in the future?" I asked.

"It's not about that," he smirked "but I do want you to forgive me." I looked away, so I wouldn't see his face.

"Like that will ever happen," I said. He took his hand and turned my head, so my face would be facing his.

"Back to topic," he said "Euphie killed your parents, Suzaku lied about it, and you still fight for Britannia." I took his hand of my face.

"That's none of your business," I said.

"That's why I'm making it my business," he said "join me."

"Join you in what?" I asked.

"Bringing Britannia down," he said. I put my face closer to his.

"You mean the Black Knights?" I asked.

"Yup," he said "you hate Britannia and so do I. You want revenge for your parents' death and so do I. What do you say?" I looked down.

"That's ok," he said "I'll give you 3 days." Suddenly, he moved closer to me. He wrapped his hands in my face as his gentle lips touched mine. I tried to pull away, but I couldn't resist.

"Clarissa!" yelled my good side "you can't do this! You love Suzaku, not Lelouch!"

"Hey!" yelled my bad side "you want revenge for your parents' death, don't you? Join him! He can help you."

"Fight him!"

"Join him!"

"Suzaku!"

"Lelouch!"

"Don't forget, Clarissa," said my good side "you're the top soldier in Holy Britannia history! You're the Emperor's private guard!"

"Boo hoo!" said my bad side "the Princess killed your parents. You must take revenge!"

_Mother, father, help me choose the right thing to do. I know I must have revenge for your deaths, but I want to do the right thing. Please help me, help me with his horrible question._


	14. My Decision

Chapter 14: My Decision

I drove to the base right after Lelouch left. Luckily, Suzaku wasn't home, or he'll be listening to what I had to tell May.

"What are you going to choose?" she asked. I sighed and fell on my bed.

"I…don't know," I said "what do you think that I should do?" Suddenly, I got a text.

"This is odd," I said "how come I got a text from Shirley?"

"I showed you the future, remember?" May said.

"She's not dead yet?" I asked. She nodded,

"I guess that's good," I said.

"What are you gonna tell Suzaku?" she asked.

"I can't tell him," I said. Suddenly, my phone rang.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Have you decided?" said the velvet voice.

"I thought you were gonna give me 3 days," I replied.

"Just checking," he hung up.

"Damn you, Lelouch," I said. I heard someone knock on my door.

"Come in," I said. Suddenly, Suzaku comes in.

"Hey," he said. He sat next to me and kissed my forehead.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Did you finish the song?" he asked.

"Not yet," I said "but I bet it will be done in 2 days."

"Hope so," he said "I want to hear it." I smiled at him.

_Man, I've got a lot on my head!!_

"Um, Suzaku," I said "can you get my guitar? I left it in my trunk."

"Sure," he said. He left. I quickly grabbed my phone.

"Who are you calling?" asked May. I didn't answer.

"Lelouch," I told him "I've made my decision."

"Ok," he said "we'll get you tomorrow morning."

"No you're not! I'm not joining you," I said.

"Why?" he asked in fury.

"I'm NOT betraying Suzaku," I said "I'd rather die."

"You're making a horrible decision!" he calmed down a bit "if you join, we can start all over. We'll be together again."

_Oh, man, he knows how much I want that to happen._

"I'm sorry, Lelouch," I hung up on him. Suddenly, Suzaku came back.

"Thanks," I said. I frowned.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," I said.

Well, a lot of time passed. I went back to school and everything WASN'T like normal. Shirley was acting really weird, this kid named Rolo appeared and blah blah blah…. Anyway, I came back home from the Music Chamber. When I went to my room, May was watching the news.

"Why are you watching the news?" I asked. She shushed me.

"Looks like Shirley's future happened," she replied. My eyes went wide open.

"Man," I said "that sucks." Suzaku came back moments later.

"Suzaku," I said "it happened. Shirley's dead."

"I know," he said "I was watching the news."

"Oh," I said.


	15. Suzaku!

Chapter 15: Suzaku!

(3 days l8ter)

"What's Lelouch doing now?" I asked Suzaku as we rode our Knightmares somewhere.

"He's ambushing," he said.

_Of course…_

When we got to this building or whatever, the Black Knights already beat us there. Suddenly, they started to attack Suzaku.

"Hello, Clarissa," Zero said through the mic.

"For the last time, Zero," I replied "I'M NOT JOINING YOU!"

"Suit yourself," he said. Suddenly, he started to attack me. I saw Suzaku, fighting Kallen.

"Suzaku!" I yelled.

"Don't worry about me," he said "look out!" Lelouch grabbed my knightmare and carried me somewhere.

"Clarissa!" yelled Suzaku. He started going after me.

"Oh no you don't!" yelled Kallen. She grabbed the Lancelot and continued fighting.

Lelouch dragged me to the meadow. I came out of my Knightmare as he did.

"Why did you take me here?" I asked.

"I wanted to talk," he said.

"Then take off your mask. I want to talk to Lelouch, not Zero," I replied, He nodded and took his mask off.

"Now," he said "tell me the real reason why you won't join the Black Knight?"

"I don't want to betray Suzaku and that's it!" I yelled.

"Really?" he asked "but don't you want us to be together again?" I looked down. He moved closer to me.

"I did," I replied.

"Then why not join?" he asked. I didn't answer.

"Why do you need to stay with Suzaku? I mean, you can have me," he put his hand on my cheek.

"Because I'm not gonna kill innocent people to get to one person," I said.

"I am gonna be the Emperor soon," he said "and I would love a Queen."

"I would NEVER be your queen!" Suddenly, his head swooped in and his lips touched mine. I fought back, trying to get away, but his hands were trapping me inside. He suddenly released.

"Please, Lelouch," I started crying "enough…" He kissed me again.

"I can't," he said "I love you too much." He kissed me AGAIN!!

"No, you don't," I said. Kiss.

"Yes I do." Kiss.

"Please. No." Kiss.

"Please. Yes." Kiss.

"But." Kiss.

"Enough." Tongue!

"No!!" His arms let me go and I fell to my knees. I wrapped myself in my arms and started to cry even more. I suddenly grabbed something out of my pocket. A dagger. I pointed it at myself. Suddenly, Lelouch grabbed the dagger away and hugged me.

"Enough," he said "I promise." Suddenly, I heard a BOOM! I turned around and saw the Lancelot on the ground.

"Suzaku!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. I stood up and started running to my knightmare. Suddenly, the Lancelot suddenly exploded. I stopped running.

"Su-su-su-SUZAKU!!!!!!!" I yelled. I fell to the ground. Lelouch picked me up in his arms.

"You monster!" I yelled as I punched him in the chest. However, he wouldn't let me go.

"Let me go!" I yelled "Lelouch!" I started to cry even more. Suddenly, Lloyd and Cecile came. Lelouch dropped me and ran off.

Lloyd and Cecile came over to me.

"What happened, Clarissa?" asked Cecile.

"Suzaku…" I pointed at the remains of the Lancelot.

"MY LANCELOT!!" yelled Lloyd.

"Suzaku!" yelled Cecile. I passed out.

…..

Tomorrow came quickly. Lloyd, Cecile, The Knight of the Round, other people, and I were at Suzaku's funeral. When it was time to bury him, I put his picture of me and him on his coffin, along with a white rose.

"Goodbye, Suzaku," I whispered. He was lowered to the ground.


	16. Final Chapter

Chapter 16: Final Chapter

_Mother, Father, look after Suzaku…_

As I said my last prayer, I went back to the base. Its been 1 day since, well, you know, and now Lelouch is about to be declared The new Emperor. I was watching it from TV, since I really didn't want to be there.

"May," I said "can you take my geass away, now?" I asked her.

"Not yet, the time is near," she replied. Suddenly, I saw Lelouch on the TV.

"He's sacrificing all those people?!" I yelled.

"I'm afraid so," May said.

"But," I replied "why?" Suddenly, a figure appears on TV.

"What the hell?!?!" I yelled. It was a fake Zero. He suddenly came up to Lelouch and killed him.

"(Gasps)" I nearly fell off the bed "Lelouch is…"

"Dead," May said. Suddenly, May put her hand on my head and we started to scream. I fell on my bed.

"Is-it-g-gone?" I asked.

"Yes," she said "your geass is gone."

"Lelouch had to be dead?" I asked. She nodded.

"First, my parents, then Suzaku, and know…" I started crying.

"I thought you hated him," May said.

"I did," I said "but I don't know why I'm crying."

"You miss Suzaku, don't you?" May asked.

"Yes," I said. May walked out my room. I grabbed a picture of me and Suzaku from under my bed. It was when we first met.

"Suzaku," I said "please come back to me." I cried even more. Suddenly, the fake Zero appeared in my room.

"Who are you?" I asked. He came closer and sat down next to me.

"Clarissa," said his voice. My heart dropped. I took his helmet off.

"SUZAKU!!!!" I yelled. I wrapped my arms around his neck. He did the same with my waist.

"I love you, Clarissa," he said.

"I love you too, Suzaku," I said "and my love for you will never end." He looked at me and gave me a passionate kiss.

(5 Years L8ter)

Suzaku told everyone that he was Zero. However, he wasn't in trouble. He was rewarded to be the new Emperor.

"I'm happy for you, Suzaku!" I gave him a hug.

"Thanks," he said.

"You know," said Cornellia "running a whole empire takes a lot of responsibility for one person."

"You're right," Suzaku replied "that's why my Queen is going to help me."

"Your…" my eyes went wide open. Suzaku kneeled on one knee and took out a little lack box.

"Clarissa," he said "you are the love of my life. I want you to be by my side for all eternity. I want to give you my heart. Will you marry me?"

I kneeled down to him.

"Yes," I said. He put the ring on me and kissed me.

**Thank you guys for reading this story! I couldn't have done it without your support. I love you guys!!!**

**-Soara22**


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